Quit playing nice.
Elite sport
So, I've spent the last 20 years (wait for the but…) building performance cultures most people only see from the outside. Olympic Gold Medal-Winning Teams, FTSE 100 companies, global brands, governments, and the military.
Elite sport taught me early that medals and success don't come from motivational posters or individual heroics. It was having a healthy obsession with learning faster, and figuring out how to bring a group of individuals together and turn them into a united team.
I was lucky to work in elite sport. They invested heavily in us to learn from the best workplaces, including Pixar, NASA, Special Forces, The Royal Ballet, top Children's Hospitals, the New Zealand All Blacks, Apple, and many others.
And along the way, I've been able to apply my lessons working with champions such as Jade Jones and Joe Clarke, and led UK-wide talent programmes for Great Britain's future Olympic champions, figuring out how to create performance environments that built a pipeline of multiple World and Olympic medallists.
The real story
But here's the real story… I didn't grow up confident, fearless, or 'high-performing'. I came from humble beginnings. My legendary mum grafted as a cleaner and hairdresser (although I've never forgiven her for allowing me to have a bleached Nike tick on the back of my head!), and my Dad was an ex-Army soldier, turned lifer at BT. I was anxious, desperate to be liked, riddled with imposter syndrome, and hated speaking in groups. I was known as the 'nice' boy – hence 'quit playing nice'.
So something had to change.
Luck surface area
I became fascinated by psychology in order to help myself. Credit to my family, our mantra in life was, 'If you don't ask, you don't get'. So it turned out that I had a knack for asking questions and asking for help – building what I now call your luck surface area.
If you don’t ask, you don’t get.
In fact, my biggest sliding doors moment was in 2008 when I gatecrashed Professor Steve Peters' medical students' lecture, introduced myself at the end, and asked for his help. It worked out well – he became my mentor for 5 years. That single act changed the direction of my career and my mental fitness.
Full circle
I no longer see fear, self-doubt, or conflict as weaknesses to hide. I've learnt how to work with them and use them as fuel. Today, I speak on stage in front of 1000s (and enjoy it!) and consult with the world's largest companies.
So whilst I spent decades running away from conflict, it's a full circle moment where I now teach it to leaders and teams. I genuinely believe success in business is a team sport, yet when you bring together a group of individuals, it's complex, messy and dysfunctional. I help teams untangle that to create clarity, trust and agency.
Success in business is a team sport.